Finding Our Purpose in Life 

(Chapter 4 of “The Winning Way ” by Kent Holland, copyright , 2003

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

At one time or another, we all get the feeling that our lives were meant for some greater purpose that we haven't yet found or that we haven’t yet satisfactorily fulfilled.  We hear the words of the U.S. Army, “Be all you can be,” and we wonder if we are, in fact, living up to our full potential.  Are we the person God intended us to be?  God's purpose may seem elusive and we may wonder if we will ever discover it.  Numerous people, including many who regularly attend church, tell me that they are grappling with the feeling that their lives lack purpose.  Many are restless and lack inner peace.

According to a  Barna Research Group survey reported in the USA Today newspaper, over 46 percent of people from 18 to 31 are “still trying to figure out the meaning and purpose” of their lives.  For those between the ages of 32 and 50, a startling 42 percent are still searching for their meaning and purpose.  So, if you’re feeling frustrated in your own search for meaning, you have lots of company! 

The world teaches us (even shouts at us) that what we see around us is all there is; this moment in time is all that matters.  We see this in the carpe diem attitude of the beer commercial: “You only go around once.”  We see it in the Nike advertising slogan, “Just Do It,” and in the “No Fear” advertisement that is so popular.  But something within us cries out for more. We work ourselves to death climbing higher and higher on the ladder of success, only to find that there is nothing worthwhile at the top.  Or worse, we find that all our efforts have left us in broken relationships, and spiritually and emotionally empty.

Following my encounter with the homeless man in Philadelphia , I discovered that my own success ladder had been leaning against the wrong building.  As I reached closer to the top, I found I didn't like the view.  In "having it all," I found I had nothing of any lasting value.  Most ironically, living for the pleasure of the day was not only failing to provide long-term satisfaction, it wasn’t even satisfying me in the moment.  Having bought the “Go for the Gusto” message of popular commercials, I had become unsatisfied with the results of the products and lifestyle that accompanied that philosophy. 

As a result of saying “yes” to the homeless man, my eyes were opened to a spiritual existence that I previously knew nothing about¾despite years of church attendance.  It was as though he were urging me to open my eyes and heart to see the reality of the world, and to see my purpose and place in it.   Apostle Paul said, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10).  From this, I understand that I am created by God with some specific purpose (or even "good works") in mind.  Now all I have to do is find out what that might be.  And that’s where things get real interesting. 

What exactly is the specific purpose for which we are called by God?  What are these “good works?”  What specifically does God expect of us?  

The vital question: What’s in the box?

In his book Half Time, wealthy businessman-turned author and Christian worker, Bob Buford, describes his own journey of finding his purpose by moving from “success to significance.”  After achieving great business and personal success, including financial independence, during the first half of his life, Mr. Buford took a long, hard look at his life.  He asked himself some tough questions, including:  “What should I do?  How could I be most useful?  Where should I invest my own talents, time, and treasure?  What are the values that give purpose to my life?  What is the overarching vision that shapes me?  Who am I?  Where am I?  Where am I going?  How do I get there?”  Turning to the consultant that had provided him wise business advice throughout his career, he asked for assistance in drawing up a strategic plan for himself.  The advisor told Mr. Buford that before any decisions could be made as to the details of what he might do with his life, he first must answer one vital question: “What's in the box?” [i]  By this he was asking Mr. Buford what was the primary focus and point of his life.  What did he value most?  What drove him?

After listening to Mr. Buford give vague ideas about continuing employment as a business professional while also finding some unspecified realm of Christian service, his advisor brought him up short by pointing out that he hadn’t really made a decision about what was “in the box.”  He explained, “For you, it is either money or Jesus Christ.  If you can tell me which it is, I can tell you the strategic planning implications of that choice.  If you can't tell me, you are going to oscillate between those two values and be confused.” 

            After reflection, Mr. Buford concluded he was ready to “put Jesus Christ in the box.”  As he says, “It was an act of faith, and it was a daunting challenge to me to be open to change and adventure.  Even more than that, it was a commitment to do something about the faith I already had.  By acknowledging Christ as my guiding light, I had invoked the promise that He would direct my paths, no matter where they took me.” [ii]  This challenge that changed Mr. Bufford's life was presented by a business advisor¾not a priest, pastor or rabbi.  Ironically, the advisor describes himself as a Jewish atheist.  Thank God that He can, and does, use all kinds of people, with all kinds of beliefs to get His point across to those who are ready to listen. 

In my own journey through life, I have oscillated between the values of this world and those of Christ.  But the oscillation has gone to the heart of my spiritual beliefs rather than just to how I would devote my time.  Wavering between trying to perform on the stage of life like a Christian while living for the pleasures of the day resulted in my confusion, frustration and self-disgust.  There obviously could be no steady direction in my life with such lack of commitment to one course.

Shortly after meeting the homeless man, I had a business trip to Montana .  I concluded that as long as I was there, it seemed only right that I should indulge one of my pleasures by staying the weekend to ski at Big Sky Mountain .  After a morning of skiing on that spectacular mountain, I felt the need to leave the slopes and return to my hotel room so I could spend some time reading the Bible and praying.  If that sounds weird to you, it felt pretty strange to me at the time too.  Perhaps it had something to do with the vastness of the mountain and the fact that it seemed so deserted.  It felt so big, and I felt so small and alone. Much of the day, I found myself sitting alone on chair lifts and skiing down empty trails.  The chair lifts were mechanized so that turn-stiles automatically opened when a skier passed his lift ticket through a scanner.  There was not a lift attendant in sight, and there were so few skiers that it was eerie. 

At one point, it occurred to me that if I had a ski accident and landed in the woods, it would be a long time before anyone found me. Thoughts of mortality filled my mind as I pondered questions like: If I died, would anyone other than my immediate family really care?  Would I be missed?  Had I made a difference in the lives of those with whom I worked and played?  What, if anything, had I done for anyone that went beyond a superficial level?   With thoughts like these I left the slope, returned to my room, and spent most of the weekend alone in my room praying and reading the Bible.

I asked God to forgive me for squandering the talents He had given me.  Then I asked Him to fill me with the Holy Spirit and teach me to surrender to the Holy Spirit so that the “fruit of the Spirit” described in Galatians 5:22-23 (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control), could be produced in me and positively impact the lives of others.  I made a decision to allow God to be the center and purpose of my life.  I chose to have life with real purpose.

When I got up from my knees after that afternoon of prayer, I felt like a heavy load had been lifted from me.  I had previously heard descriptions like that, but I hadn’t understood it or really believed it to be possible. I was a light-hearted and happy man when I returned home to embark upon the Spirit-filled life to fulfill God’s purpose.  I felt confident that I would learn God’s will for me and would be able to follow it.  I intended to claim God’s command to “be filled with the Spirit,” as well as His promise that by doing so I would “understand what the Lord’s will is” (Eph. 5:17 -18).

My temporal concerns, worries and desires seemed to vanish (or at least greatly diminish) as they were replaced with the fruit described at Galatians 5:23 .  The path by which I got there is explained in subsequent chapters. I took off on this new course like a rocket and maintained both speed and direction for quite some time.  As time passed, however, I found how easy it is to fall back into life’s briar patch ¾ starting with too many hours at work, too much concern about finances, and too little time in prayer, Christian fellowship and mediation upon God’s Word.  God is faithful, though.  He has enabled me to see when I am getting off track, and He has helped me to get back on course and stay there.

The most obvious fruit in my life has been an overarching sense of peace and joy.  This is so refreshing that I can't help but share it with others.  The challenge I present to others is the same that confronted me: to directly address the question of who or what is at the center of our lives.  If you haven’t already done so, I challenge you to ask yourself the question and search for the answer.  Be sure that Jesus is who you want to have at your center.  Then really make Him that center: focus yourself, your thoughts and your activities on Him.  You will enjoy the experience.  You will know what it is to be truly alive and experience peace like you’ve never known.

Our Spiritual Reality Defines Our Purpose

God no doubt intended that we enjoy life; otherwise, He would not have made so much natural beauty and so much to do, and so much time to spend doing it. As the creation story states: "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good" (Gen. 1:31).  He enjoyed what He made and so should we!  But from the context of this Scripture, it appears that God made us for His own pleasure as well.  It also seems that He genuinely wants to be worshipped and praised.  We are told, for example, that God is a jealous God.  "Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God" (Ex. 34:14).   God, therefore, expects to be Number One in our lives.  When Jesus chose His disciples, He told them to drop everything to follow Him.  The Apostle James, in honoring the call, jumped immediately from his fishing boat to follow Jesus ¾ leaving his own father behind in the boat.

Once we begin following Jesus, He expects our undivided attention.  He made this clear by His curt remarks to a man who told Him, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” Jesus replied to that man, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:61-62).  Having surrendered ourselves to God's will when we acknowledge God's ordained purpose; we must stay the course and not get sidetracked.  When the driving purpose for our life is to live in a manner that brings joy and glory to God, everything changes¾including our daily priorities and goals.

We come into closer union with God the more we make it our mission to bring the love of Jesus to every part of our own lives as well as to lives of everyone we encounter each day.  It has been said:

  Mission resides in union with God and union with God exists only in mission: surrendering to God from morning to the evening and then throughout the night.  In such loving abandon Jesus lived his union with the Father.  Likewise for us.  When we know ourselves as sent and we live on that mission, we are one with the God-who-sends.  Apart from union with God, mission is not possible, just as apart from the mission, union with God is impossible.[iii]

Seeing Others through Different Eyes

Once we have made the commitment to have Jesus in charge of our life, we see the world and all those in it in a totally different light.  "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view” (II Corinthians 5:16 ).  When we start living for God instead of ourselves, the affairs and opinions of the world seem a lot less important.  When we cease regarding people from a “worldly point of view” we might even find that we will quit judging them as to their politics, social standing, business occupation or station in life.  Rather, we see individuals as God’s children with the same needs and concerns as our own, including the need for spiritual connection with God through His son, Jesus.  If we are too busy thinking about the routine matters of life like sports, cars, jobs, and politics, we may see our friend or neighbor only in the context of those things, and fail completely to see his spiritual needs or to recognize our spiritual connection with him. 

Our point of view towards all people must, therefore, be to look at them through the eyes of the Holy Spirit.  This obviously means that we will see people differently.  We will hear their cries for help.  We will better appreciate the help they have to offer us to build and strengthen our own faith.  We will also be better prepared to share beneficial words that are the result of the Holy Spirit working in us.  By taking the risk of discussing spiritual matters with individuals I meet at work, conferences and on trips, I have had the privilege of having deep, meaningful conversations that permitted me to get to know people much better than I otherwise would.  I have thus observed or sensed the hand of God at work in their lives and my own.

These experiences have given me greater confidence to listen to that small voice or intuition that sometimes encourages me to go to unusual lengths to spend time with people who need someone to share the hope and compassion of Christ with them.  I’ve concluded that when we are following the Holy Spirit’s guidance, there are no coincidences.  Our paths cross with those whom God wants to touch through us.  They also cross with those whom God uses to touch us.  It’s been said that what we think are coincidences are actually minor miracles in which God chooses to remain anonymous.  They are “divine appointments.”

A Reality Check

As Christians living in the Holy Spirit, our lives should be so focused on Christ that we are spending as much, if not more, thought, energy, time and action in contemplating Jesus and talking about Him as we do on things of this temporal world.  To help me analyze where I stand with the Holy Spirit, I devised a list of questions that serve as a sort of reality check on my life. I use this as periodic self-evaluation.

·   Is my primary purpose each day to consciously glorify Christ with everything I do, say, and think?

            ·   How much time do I give to consciously praising the Lord compared to the time I spend praising sports teams and hobbies?

·   How much time do I spend consciously praying to the Lord compared to the time I spend worrying about and planning finances?

            ·   How much time do I spend reading the Bible compared to the time I spend on secular books, newspapers, and magazines,

            ·   How much time do I spend reading Christian books compared to secular fiction books or watching TV and movies?

            ·   How much time do I spend witnessing to non-Christians compared to the time I spend chatting about daily news, sports, politics, world events, and frivolous things?

            ·   How much time do I spend talking with Christians about Jesus versus the time I spend talking about daily news, events, etc.?

            ·   How much time do I spend doing things with friends who are active, "practicing" Christians versus the time I spend with non-active Christians or non-believers?

            ·   What daily activities in my life glorify Jesus and what daily activities in my life do not glorify Jesus?

Counterproductive Self-Help and Self-Actualization

If we don’t acknowledge God’s intended purpose for our lives, we will be endlessly searching for the meaning of life in all the wrong places.  We will be susceptible to all kinds of New Age and other self-help, self-improvement and human potential philosophies that promise to transform us into happy and productive people that can "create our own reality" but which ultimately leave us empty and dead to Christ. 

Self-help or self-actualization programs appear to work for some people who, consequently, buy into a false and vain belief that they can create their own meaning in life, and find their own purpose apart from God. Such courses that “empower” people to find their own purpose may result in people creating a false god (i.e. self), that separates them from the power of the Holy Spirit to convict them of the one and only true purpose for their lives—to glorify God.

Personal empowerment is foreign to the principle of welcoming the power of the Holy Spirit into our lives to connect and relate to God in an exciting and direct way.  As stated by A. W. Tozer in The Counselor:

This is the difference between Christianity and all the Oriental cults and religions.  All cult religions try to wake up what you already have, and Christianity says, ‘What you have is not enough—you will need the enduement which is sent from above! . . .  but the cult religions still say, 'Concentrate and free your mind and release the creative powers that lie within you.’  The plain fact is, such creative powers do not lie within us. . . .  All this teaching about hidden potentials and creative impulses and waking up your true self is hard to defend, for we walk around on the earth barely able to keep going.... God Almighty is saying to us, ‘I am not wanting to wake up the power that lies in you.  You shall receive the power of the Holy Spirit coming upon you!” [iv]

These human-potential, self-help, and transformation technology programs are multi-million dollar businesses that train hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people each year in how to find their purpose by looking within them to take control and responsibility for their own happiness and success.  Sadly, programs like these often leave unsuspecting attendees worse off than they were before they took the programs.  This is because they teach that we can solve all our own problems; that we can master our own destiny, create our own purpose, interpret our past, present and future so as to make it what we want it to be.  By teaching this, these programs lead people farther from the truth.  The plain truth is that we can find no genuine peace, joy, happiness or fulfillment of purpose until we acknowledge God’s purpose for our lives and surrender to God to fulfill that purpose.

Purpose to be a Good and Faithful Servant

What does it mean to be a good and faithful servant?  Jesus said, "Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time?  It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns" (Matt. 24:45-47).

What we see from this Scripture is that we, God's people, are to feed others on His behalf. Jesus asked His Apostle, Peter, if he loved Him.  Peter responded, “Yes Lord, you know that I love you.”  To prove his love, Jesus told him, “Feed my sheep” (John 21:17 ).  It is readily apparent that more is meant than just physically caring for people.  The context includes feeding the emotional and spiritual needs of people, whether they are rich or poor. If we call ourselves Christians but our actions fail to model those of one who serves others, our hypocrisy will be revealed.  As Jesus said, those who fail to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, and take care of the sick and needy will be “cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels” (Matt. 25:41).

We Are Chosen and Saved to Bear Fruit
 and Win Souls

We were chosen by God to bear fruit.  Jesus said, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last" (John 15:16 -17).  God calls us “in order that we might bear fruit for God.”  The fruit that is to be found in our lives is described at Galatians 5:23 as including “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” This fruit that is demonstrated in our lives should lead others to see that Jesus Christ is the truth they are seeking in their own spiritual journey.

My own understanding of “bearing fruit” was rather limited and misguided.  I found comfort in the thought that the message of Christ can be summarized as “love your neighbor as yourself.”  Although that is a tall task, I thought I was doing pretty well at being considerate and helpful to people. The way I interpreted and applied this great commandment was that since what I wanted to have done unto me was more success, prosperity, pleasure and laughter, I should do all that I reasonably could to help others obtain these same things.   These may be reasonable goals (when not taken to an extreme), but they pale in comparison to the ultimate purpose of being called by Christ to demonstrate our love for Him, and to take His love to others, including helping others come to know the wonderful message and life of salvation. 

The clarity of Jesus’ own purpose is seen from what He told His disciples after an evening in the town of Capernaum where He healed many people and "drove out many demons.”  When His disciples told Him the next morning that everyone was looking for Him, “Jesus replied, ‘Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also.  That is why I have come’” (Mark 1:38 ).

Finding and Accepting God's Purpose

So what is God’s plan for your life?  If you will pray and surrender each day to allow the Holy Spirit to lead your life, you will learn God’s plan for that day—or at least for that particular moment of the day.  He will give you an understanding of what is to be done in the moment.  I’ve given up expecting to have a five year plan mysteriously or miraculously presented to me. Nevertheless, I believe we can count on getting direction and input from the Holy Spirit to make it possible to live for Christ in the moment.

The Reverend John Hampsch offers this example of how listening to the gentle urgings of the Holy Spirit has led him to meet a need that he could not even have imagined.  He says, “I recall one time asking myself what I had done that particular day to make this a better world.  Ashamed at having done nothing to that end, I asked the Lord to inspire me to do a simple supererogatory act that would be in accord with His will.  The thought came to me that I might call a depressed client I had counseled.  When she answered the phone, she was holding a pill bottle, preparing to commit suicide by overdose.  My call came just in time to lift her depression and save her life.”  He concludes, “If we’re listening¾and responding—such inspirations from God will be recognized as too holy to have been initiated by us; we’ll recognize them as graces divinely ‘whispered’ into our soul.  Our response to each tiny ‘whisper’ of God’s Spirit is a precious act of virtue that ratchets our soul to the next rung on the ladder reaching heavenward.  Each response to God’s will brings us to a higher level of spiritual security; and our feeling of peace and security increases as we snuggle ever closer into the warm embrace of God's love.  Each small response we make to a nudge of divine inspiration brings a surge of growth in holiness.  And holiness, after all¾which is union with God¾is the ultimate goal we're seeking in pursuing His will.”[v]

In my daily experience, the Holy Spirit brings me into contact and communication with other individuals in remarkable ways and at unusual places and times.  This has led to fellowship and spiritual growth for me and those I’ve met. He will put you in situations with Christians as well as non-Christians, with whom to share His love.  He will create a ministry through you.  It may not be from a pulpit.  It may be from your seat in an airplane, train or bus. It may be at your place of work. 

Wherever we are, the Holy Spirit will use us if we are committed to God and surrender our will to His.  My daily prayer is, “Lord, please take me and use me to the glory of Jesus and use me to bring His loving touch and His saving knowledge to those I'm with today.  Let me not be shy or ashamed.  Let me be bold for Christ and rely entirely upon the Holy Spirit to do it.”

When I pray a prayer like that and keep myself in a strong dependent relationship with the Holy Spirit, all kinds of opportunities to serve others seem to mysteriously present themselves.  It is not uncommon for me to be on a plane, or in a train or taxi, when a conversation about spiritual life begins with a fellow passenger or with the taxi driver.  On a plane from Oklahoma to Washington , D.C, the woman seated next to me inexplicably turned to me and said, “I’m so sad.”  I inquired why she was sad, and listened to her story about heartbreak and divorce.  I offered to pray with her and gave her a copy of the “Prayer of Jabez,” which I happened to be carrying.  In Atlanta , a conversation with my taxi driver resulted in my sharing with him how much peace I had found in Christ.  Specifically, I contrasted my life controlled by the Holy Spirit to my former life when I would find my mind wandering into the trap of foolish and inappropriate daydreams.

It seems that was exactly what he needed to hear.  He said he was fighting precisely that same problem and that no matter how hard he tried to stop and no matter how often he resolved to stop letting his mind go there, he always ended up in that mental gutter.  He stopped the taxi and we talked for another ten minutes about how to invite the Holy Spirit into his life so that the thoughts could stop and he could finally experience the peace and joy of being a successful Christian.  We parted with a hug and a prayer.

I benefited spiritually from our conversation and prayer as much as the taxi driver did.  In fact, what happened immediately after leaving his cab is about the weirdest thing I’ve ever experienced.  Apparently, I was feeling so good and so connected to God's purpose for me at that moment that I walked with a bounce and practically lit up with an overflowing joy.   A woman walking by looked at me and actually commented on the joy she saw in my face.  I thought that was pretty weird, but perhaps it is possible that listening and responding to the Holy Spirit's nudge to talk with the taxi driver had such a profound effect on me that it showed on my face.  I strongly suspect that's the way it is supposed to be.  According to Scripture, “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame” (Ps. 34:5). 

Distracted from Our Purpose by Daily Concerns

We are missing out on the exciting purpose God has for us if we allow the pursuit of earthly pleasures to distract us and take our time away from spending quality time with God and with individuals with whom we can share God’s love.  It's critically important that we overcome our natural tendency to get bogged down in daily cares, chores and even temptations.  In my experience, asking God to help me “overcome” has not been sufficient since that results in my rekindled efforts to do the overcoming using my own willpower with a little boost or help from Jesus.

When I’m successful in listening to God and responding to His purpose for me, it isn’t due to asking Jesus to give me a little extra help—but instead it is because I give up on my efforts and ask the Holy Spirit to exercise supernatural direction and control in my life so that I can be useful in the moment given to me in this particular day.  I ask the Holy Spirit to fill me with His presence so that instead of just “talking the talk,” I can genuinely “walk the walk” that God desires.  This works like nothing else can.  No “twelve-step program,” no “positive thinking,” no “possibility thinking,” and no “highly effective habits” will do it.  Not even the assistance of Jesus, helping me since that suggests I can actually do something on my own with a little assistance.  Only the Holy Spirit working in me can prevail so that I experience spiritual growth and significance in my life.  This power to live according to God’s purpose is available to every Christian who will surrender—and remain surrendered—to the Holy Spirit.

When I am in that position, I produce good fruit.  It is recognizable and evident to me and, I hope, to others.  I feel a love and compassion for others that I’ve never before been capable of feeling.  I experience joy.  My attitude towards others becomes patient and gentle.  My faith and trust in the Lord increases.  I become confident of His provision for me and I am fulfilling the purpose for which He called me.  The most important effect of this relationship, and the powerful feeling of love that results from it, is that I begin consistently sharing God's love with others, and that includes sharing the good news that we can have a personal relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ.

We are to live a life worthy of God's great calling. The fruit that is produced in us by the Holy Spirit should be an instrument by which God reveals Himself to others.  Others should see the peace and joy in us that comes from no source that they know.  If they see this, they will want to know how to get it.  We will have the opportunity to love others and share the Word of God. We will have fulfilled God’s purpose in our lives by being His instruments of love to lead non-believers to Christ, and to affirm other believers in their Christian growth and discipleship.

            If we are not actively bearing good fruit that produces good works and a witness for Jesus, then we are failing to honor God’s purpose for our lives, and we are failing to partake of the abundant life that God intends for us.

  ______________________________________________  

For personal reflection

1.  Review the “Reality Check” questions in this chapter. 

2.   Based on your answers to the above questions and on any other evidence that comes to mind, are there areas in your life that you could manage differently so as to reduce the distractions that may be keeping you from finding and fulfilling God’s purpose? 

·         List several things that you could do about it. (Note: This is not a decision at this point to do anything at all—but just an inventory of what you think you could do if you decided you wanted to get more focused.)

3.  Read Galatians 5:16-26.  How’s your fruit?   Are you bearing the fruit of verses 22-23?

4.  What or who is “in the box” in the center of your life?

·         How does this affect how you live, work and play?

·         Do you feel that you vacillate between following the values of Christ and those of the world?

5.  Do you believe God has a purpose for you individually?

·         If so, do you feel confident that you are living according to His purpose for you?

·         How often to you talk to people other than Christian friends about their spiritual beliefs and your own?

6.  Have you ever had an experience in which you felt that God was calling you to take a particular job, perform a specific task, or talk to a particular individual?

·         How did you decide whether it was God leading you or your own agenda?

            What did you do?  What was the result?